“Tell me everything. I want to listen to you”
In our life, every spoken word has great significance. A carelessly thrown phrase can cause a serious quarrel. And a few warm sentences, sincerely said to a loved one, can work a miracle: resurrect love, remove pain and give hope.
Here we share with you intimate phrases that will help maintain harmonious relations with your significant other. Try to tell your loved one these living words instead of banal routine questions “how are you?”, “what did you do today?” over a cup of tea next evening and your hearts with your spouse will begin to beat in unison again.
“Tell me everything” - it would seem that there is nothing unusual in these three simple words, but they can strengthen the emotional connection with your spouse and give that closeness of relations that you could only dream of. We often mistakenly believe that for happiness and harmony in a family union we lack the intensity of feelings and passions. But in fact, practice shows that the main stumbling block between a wife and husband is misunderstanding. We can love our spouse dearly but not hear him. We perceive what is happening to him superficially. Although we hear each other’s news every day and ask about our health, work, relatives and discuss plans, this is very far from a sincere, honest, unhurried dialogue, which is a medicine for the soul. What is the magic of such communication? Often, when talking with a loved one, we pass the information received through a special filter. Our ego comes into play, and we consider all the feelings and experiences of our other half one-sidedly. “How will this affect me?”, “Will this make me feel worse?”, “Will what is happening change his attitude towards me?” Our “I” is in the center of attention. Thus the dialogue collapses. But what if you try at least once to truly hear your partner, perceiving what is said on a deep level? Show that your spouse is not alone, that you will not leave him alone with pain, problems, and fear. Yes, strong men sometimes need approval, sympathy and support. Therefore, a sincerely spoken phrase, “Tell me everything, I want to listen to you,” can become a new chapter in marital relations. When saying this, sit closer to your loved one, look into his eyes to show interest on a non-verbal level.
Do not try to immediately find a solution to the problems or fix something on the fly. Just listen. When your spouse shares everything that filled his mind and feels your support, he will be able to find the right path himself.
Learn to be an ‘active listener’. This psychological technique helps you to be the kind of person with whom communication brings true pleasure. Use clarifying questions, “Did I understand you correctly?”, “Is this what you mean?” Do not be shy about supporting your interlocutor with words like: “I understand”, “I share your feelings”, “I agree”, “I want to clarify one point”... From time to time, you can use a technique called echo. Repeat the main thoughts of your interlocutor, making it clear that all attention is focused on him.
The magic phrase “Tell me everything” is applicable not only to difficult, stressful situations. It is important to be able to empathise with your loved one in a difficult moment but sincerely rejoicing in victories is no less valuable. Therefore, have heart-to-heart talks not only when you are sad, but also when you are happy. Thus, these pleasant moments, multiplied by the strength of your love, will acquire even greater significance.
